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starting the future

as my old relaship has failed I find myself in limbo trying to over come the perils I have found myself in. I am trying to sort out my fiances and a place of my own. their is a few things to sort out. as I have to go through a divorce and it may get ugly. as before I had tried to sort out a life of working. I was always told I was not good enough I was stupid and ultimately everyone said your too ill to work. to find the right job is difficult. but getting to know the right people may work as I am shy and reserved that may be a job in its self. well everything takes time. I have to wait, hopefully I shall get their the great help I have had by my local police and my sister and her partner is worth a lot of gold. they have had a lot to do yet they took time to help me and I am great full beyond words for their help and understanding. as of my ex he is acting like a stalker I have to keep him on my side as I need my pets to be safe until I can have them with me again. I am working through a lot of changes. with time I will get my routes settled again.

in this place is the future. its worth trying to make a difference but in the end you have to do the best for yourself and love yourself as always.

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toward the future

I have cosen to do whats bestd for both partys in their stress. I have left my now ex and are going to start a new life without the control and restriction I was under. I have now been at my sisters for about just under a week their is a few things I have to sort through and then I and he can get on with a stressless future. I am sad it has happened but the way things were they could not of continued we were hurting each other more than we were loving each other. so I am just in limbo right now I am homless waiting on council to contact me about a place but it may take a bit of time. I will update my blog and apresiate the people who take time to read it/

their is a day their is a night but how you choose to be in that day and night.

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The big thing

The big thing does not have to be big. It can be small and grow were its not needed to be. Its a great world. The old is still the new and I am sick of having to fight for my wright’s. Ha so when the chips are down the down are up.

I am depressed have been a few days felling depressed. Stuck inside as my husbands too scared to go out as well as he wont let me do my shopping either. Everyone though thinks its OK keep her stuck inside she won’t go bonkers. She’s not allowed to. Untrue I can’t even have a good walk once a day. He will go as far as the end of the road and thats it. If their is anyone around he rushes home and does not reach the end of the road. Well i am not allowed to go bonkers but I am. (Quietly)

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Apologise for my early post

Hi if you have followed me from my earlier post. I was upset and some thing were spell wrong as I was up set and did not really pay as much attention as I should of it seems to come on the keyboard all wrong. I apologise if some got the wrong information from my rambling. Nice of people to listen just for the wright reasons and not the wrong thank you. I shall go make dinner and go on my vr and exercise. Really had a walking thing since lockdown even got myself a fit bit. Its good to carm the mind as well. So chow.for now.

Be it me be it my.

Its a happy day to be you.

Smile and breath. The air is good and were ever you are. Lisen for the sounds of thoughs birds.

Night xxxx

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So hot

Ow its so hot sat in my house trying to keep cool is not working. So I close curtains and walk round naked. I have a bath. I dry and just don’t get dressed. Much cooler. I go on the playstation and play bus simulator. Then I get joined in a party by my husband then all the gang seep in one by one. We have amazing night talking laughing and playing seprate games. Before we know it. Its gone midnight. This happened after tea. So we all talk till three in the morning. We also do better in are games. Amazing. Next day we spend the day reading my a to z of driving signs. My husband catching up on his oak island and skinwalker ranch. Really getting in to it. Next stop food then meet the gang on playstation chat and a laugh. Maybe moans depending on how tired everyone is. Haha . That is a good day in my house and even the cats get on on those days. Heres to more many more.xxxx

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so forget everything past is past future is here

so i actually applied for the universality coarse i was having problems login in as they would not except my password. lucky i did it on my phone and got a suggested password which was much easier. now i may be going to collage as of September yeah. that if they open . so i was am going to do a under grade on creative writing and theatre. do you think a mature student can make something of her self. my hubby’s not happy but he turned to me and said so go do what you wont. so i am. just got to put in place someone to check in on him wail i am out all day. so yeah just forms to the welsh government for funding and i hope it goes smoothly. so i am over joyed to be a almost student. cool cool cool .

so i see the future.

the future is rose until it is the past.

i could not get the voke on prescription so for now i shall keep smoking a bit .
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hey hey hey, its the moaning women,

what a week. i have been up i have been down and at the momment bouncing with energy. i got a plushy pig i am crochet and then i am watching nigela, ow so wont to cook as well, i made the mistake of watching the pioneer women and saw some smores, mashmallow and choclate was so nice had a apple because i was just so hungry. so i tryed one pack of voke was very good did not have a craving, down fall i could only get one pack. ow belive me my kitchen never saw a tidyness it saw. so that was a few days ago and i am still smoking not much though and felling good now earlier today i felt upset. then my sissters partner brought some shopping and i cryed. then i felt a little better doing reviews on the things i bought from amazon and then crochet plusshy pig. was from the you tube. i fell bouncing then my mum in law rang up and said she has sent me something in the post i cant wait she has very good taste so what ever i know i will love it. well no dought later i will have a night of felling down after the up of the day. and i put in a date for a online chat with a open day at the university on the 5 th of may. now i am going to find out how to make bread. maybe be better probebly not with my cooking. i might just make tea and just study diffrent ways to make bread and cookies. mine cookies seem to come out a little hard on top. i made a cake and whisked up cream topping. was really nice. well as they say, see you on the flip side.

life is a life,

nature is nature,

and i am a robin in my nature world,

cheep cheep.

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my alian story.

it was a women who sat watching tick tock. i see someone has taken a video of a jackal and some weired thing, creature, walking along the street checking out bins. she started to think. what if a creature from out a sapace had crashed on earth and then lost their memory and was taken in by some jackals. maybe the alian was being searched for by all alian ships. what he will say to the friends when he gets home is:

from billions of miles through space to find the dark ages. in this earth their is war and fighting. then yet they have all these things they have built and all they do is stay in their house. they cant even go close to each other. what are they doing all quite i think everythings stoped . i was able to go were i wont as they were all home infront of this box that was loud. i only had what they call wild life for company. i tryed to visit them but they just said: 2 meter distance please. i came from bilions of stars away and they treat me like a virus. well glad to get home their all nuts but the young are always a little weired. hahaha

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so it me again(nooooo not her)

( so were i failed, i was trying to quit. i failed then i tryed everything out their. i had the gum the patches and the lozingers. seen a add for voke on the tv. looket up on it. i asked my doctor if he could prescribe it they can. so waited a few days and the pharamcy tell me that they have to find a alternative as the stock of voke will take a month to travel from london to wales. maybe its of of stock and they have to get new in from chinna but were i ordered from china was quicker than coming in from london. haha well i shall let you go find out about voke dont know if it will work got a month to wait ha.

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this cromo virus

it is making me angry how i understand, everyone has to look after them selves to wash their hands. dont you think its getting beond. i have a husband who gets really scared to just walk a few steps down the road. he had made good progress with his anxity before and now he is worse than ever. i cant open the front door without him shouting that i got to wash my hands. he sits upseting himself about how many people have died from this disease. they need to show positive story a bit more. he cant seem to be able to determine who may have it and who doesn’t. its probebly the case for all people suffering mentally health on who to trust and who not too. their will be a lot of anxity with most others would not care to lisen to advice. its all well saying to stay at home. were are the people who have no homes meant to go.(the homeless).

its a far wind that we may, but when we cant. were can we do.