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Rainy Wednesday

Woke at half seven very unusal .I felt really good. Weired I always get up at 9am feeling really bad and tired. Must of had a better sleep last night. So today got house to my self.cleaning and hoovering and moping today wail the grumpy things out ha. Got to shopping later got to get food in. The cats as usel are having their breakfast and back to bed for them. They hate the rain.ha. my husband visiting the bathroom a lot as hes nerves at going to spend a few hours with his mum at his sissters. Well maybe it’s something he ate we had a takeaway from local chippy and the chips were a little to cut too thick and it was weired did not go down well x. My sisster messaged me at half seven she had a interview so a big good luck to her. I shall end with a good day for ducks quack quack haha x

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start to a new year?

it was a start to a new year very rocky. just the bigging of january i got the police to kick him out. i was all emotional and my sisster came round and cleaned up the whole house. i was so distrate that he would be on the street and i found out he was at his mums. he came round on the monday and we made up then we got cubboards for the bedroom with more space and looking tidy. a week later he had a suspected stroke he has on going tests at the hospital. his family has realized that they are needed more in his life he relizes hes been really bad and all has been carm. we shall see were we go. i think he may have a demensior related problem and brain scans pending. my family how ever are barley speaking to me. but with time maybe they will see it my way or maybe not. i am cooking up lots of stews and prepering fruit. we will work on having my family come round. we have stoped playing the playstation and spend evenings caching up on tv and going to bed earlie. giving up smoking will come but not at the momment. not all can get this kind of outcome. very rare to be able to have a family that so suportive.

it is a day to wonder?

its a day to remember?

its a day to get a good rest?

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my funny momments

the other day i went to see myson and i just looked at him for a long time. i looked at his head and looked to his feet, i thought owww, would he be too old now to pat him down make sure all bones were intacted. maybe a women who really would do it. she would have balls of steal. what could it be like to have your mum pat you down as if she was a wpc. maybe put something suspicious in your pocket and then tell her it was not yours she would take you down the station , the train station. what mum we going on holiday, yes son mum will wait here for you, cry cry, but mum, shh now son get on the train, the door shut and he siting their the ticket person asks were you going son. he said i dont know my mum found something suspicious in my pocket and took me down the station she said she would wait for me. shock face. ]#

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what a year

so i left my husband and went to a refuge over the haloween. i had a lot of people help me and my family was great. i waas all distressd and i was off my medication which made it worse. as i could not think straight and was so upset and hurt. i had my son talking to me then. by the sunday i talked to him on messager i was missing my cats and stuff. i stupidly came home. i have been back what three weeks and all his friends ae saying i was in the wrong. i just wont my house but he says he wont leave that i have to. so its worth being here with my cats and my comfort, its not worth the shouting hes doing blaming me for him having to pay for everything, i told him its about time he payed for hings i had to pay for him and did he hear me moan about it not till now. so i applied for a creative writing course he said if it costs anything you cant do it. i told how much it would be he said well i am not paying nine grand for you i said well you wont need to pay anything. so he told me that i have to tell them i cant because hes not paying that. told him i could get a grant. he said great remember you have to pay for me and the cats. i had a interview in my local store and he stopped me going saying i would be destroying him he be homeless and we would lose the house. he watched the vote yesterday was up most te night in a bad mood blameing me because i did not vote. well here we are back home again.

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happy days

evrythings goingy way as the song says. its all happy and change. its really good that my four days away has made my husband relize he was going really bad. he has agreed to change and he has. getting better and all needs to be done is to get my son talking to me again. my husband had really took a look at himself hes not plying playstasion much he relizes that people on his console was hurting him not helping him. he goes to bed earlie and is much happier getting up earlie. its a start but my sons not convinset. yet.