Listing to my classical music and pondering how things could of been. Its a Sunday. A Easter Sunday. To rejoice in the Easter holiday. I am left with no family that cares.in a place to be. They say that it is a place now of chocolate eggs and bunny hops. But now a place of loneliness and regrets. For the things I never got done. Was not my choices.i got sick and meet people who wonted to keep you caged and never seeing light of day again. Its a wasted muscle wasted life not of my making but caged because of others.
i come to you ashamed of my self. i spent a weekend off cigretts on a vape. by the sunday night i was in a really big with droll. i found a astray and made a astray cigrette. i had a friend pick me up some taboacco. payed them. so i a smoking again. i had the idea not smoking till i really needed it. that did not work out either. on top of that i had a really bad migraine. for a few days. my husband desides when i have a headach to get really loud as well. think he needs a hearing aid. he just wont lisen haha. so hows everyone getting on with the isolation. i have things to do. its just not the sameas been able to go out when you wont to though. its been three weeks and doctors say i am not high risk. just tell that to my sisster and husband. they are making sure i dont go out. my husband yelling wash your hands and i only opened the front door to look outside. it amazing before he used to say if i die i die. now hes scared of dieing. to realize hes seems scared of his own shadow at the momment.
i know their are lots of people who have died of cronovirus. i fell bad for what they and their familys are going through. i hear the services for berevement and mental services are just not there. if the govermennt dont wont a civil war they should sort it out before it happens. learn from past. i shall end and say,
what a month its been. chrismas and easter together. choclate eggs and chrismas dinner. its been a month to be clear.
i woke up on friday morning and i had no ciggretts. i did everything i would usely do. feed the cats make coffee. ecept i could not have a smoke. i felt weired so i grabed my nintendo and played my game. i was suprised that i was not as bad needing a cigrete. i did have a vape. ice flavour. tastes like mint. is nice. me and my husband stayed in bed all day. tv on he was playing his game on his phone. i played my nintendo its really long game and lots to do on it. i had a few times during the day that i was temted to make a astray cigrette. i thought no i will put all ash in the bin. was not easy to do that. so it got to 9pm. i had a party. 24 hours smoke free,i dd use a vape though. i found after 24 hours of no smoking. i was breathing better and my musles are felling losser and not so stiff. i will talk to you in the morning and i will be diffrent proberly. last time i managed to not smoke for two weeks but then i failled so if i can manage three weeks. so its weired in the mornings to wake up and not have a cigrette. it can fell a little bit like, i am free loser in movement and a little bit felling lose. i cant smoke the vape untill after i have had a coffee and brushed my teeth. still getting the rubbish tip mouth though. well i will say that, wow my longest blogg yet.
so i get up to my coffee and i see my best friends, we dance in the morning light, so come on now, meaw meaw meaw. i love the shape of you.
its midnight shall blogg tomorrow and let you know what my saterday was like all locked up in my house with my husband unable to go out. night xxxxx
Their comes a time when nowing your mentaly health will take a blow. That’s its better to do the wright thing rather than the lazy thing. Sticks and stones can break your bones and words do hurt. Having to be mean to be nice is a hard thing to do..with faced with aggression and hurtful words. Its almost always the wright thing is best.
Its scary time with this treat of the corona virus. Best we can all do is listen to the advice and stay calm. The advice out their in the media. Their will be a cure for this. It will just take time. So all of you stay safe and calm. This time next year it will just be another virus are kids will be injected against. Stay safe stay calm. You can always wash hands with washing up liquid too xxxx