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bank holiday monday

last night i just wonted to run away. i have been trying to get hold of family for ages my son and daughter in law have me blocked on facebook and the phone. the rest of my family say i call them too much and i only call the once that is to much they seem to take calls they dont anser as calls too. so i am woken by my sisster whos ignored me for weeks now ask me can i borrow some money. i told her well i have none either. because with the last of my money i bought a reclyner chair and got it dilivered for 30 pound. its a lovely chair. last night i needed to talk to my husband and he was too bisy playing his game. so i walked out the door said i will be on the street as i have nowere to go. i said i am sitting in their alone because your friend has muted me and you think its ok for him to treat me that way you say you care but you dont. i am just his maid when he needs coffe or food. so he comes of the playstation i was crying and he just shoutes at me. he just lazy fisacly and he does not wont to use his brain only to play his games he said to his friend sorry about this. i told him i wont him out he said i will be dead before i leave this house. i should realy not be so stupid when i am talking to a lazy cunt who thinks it funny to lie about me and then deney hes said anything. ow and he drank 8 pints of milk since saterday and thats my fault hes ran out of milk.

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really bad time.

last year a few months before my mum passed away. it was difficalt my husband was grieving for his father in law and we found out that his dad had dimentiar the rare type. and my days were i used to be asleep earlie and then at 4am in the morning my husband came in and starteled me awake shouting and calling me names and said i had to get out of bed so he could put the pillows and the sheet straight on his side. so grogerly i would get out of bed let him sort out the sheet and i would get back in to bed.i woke up again to the alarm at 8am and i got dressed and had to go up to my sissters and take the kids to school. i really liked chatting with them. after droping the little one at nursery i would go to do shopping two 6 pints of milk bread and crisps . i got home and then i would make coffee and toast and get a load of abbuse of my husband. i then walked back to the school picked up my neice at around half eleven and then i would walk her up the hill to her mum. i walked home and when i got n he would be angry were have you been. i told him he shout then he would go back to sleep. i got a coffee and some toast for me to eat. i went back up to fetch my nephew from school and take him home. i get back home and my husband would be on the playstation. i had one so i made tea he was only eating chicargo town pizza at the time. we had a nice evening chatting with friends by about ten o clock i would fall asleep. this whent on for a few week but every other day i did not need to go to the shop. then the little one started full time nursery. which was better than walking up that hill three times a day it did not fell like it at the time but afterweards the exercise really did fell good. spending time with my niece and nephew was great they were so funny. my husband did not like it as i was sleeping and had not too much time to spend with him. now he has got upsesed with keeping the door and windows shut at night to keep out the moths and flys. i said well if ou had a shower they would not bother you. but again he wont hear reason he can only hear himselfe when hes angry. so now because of my husband my sisster wont talk to me uness its getting some things from the shop for her and my husband gets angry at all the money i spent on a few taxis when i had no energy to walk up the hill.

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g too much time away

i lost my mum in january she had been ill for three years with bowl cancer and my husband has been having a brakedown. in my upset of trying to deal with my emotions i found altspace on the vr. verual realty. i had great support from people on their because they would hear my husband yelling at me and would go on to altspace and found singing in a world they have their made me fell a little better. then their was a activety called creative writing. i did like writghting i was trying to wright a fictunal book. i was nerves when i started to join the class i was only useing a samsung gear and it only allowed half hour before it over heated but i enjoyed the half classes. my husband got me a laptop to join altspace for longer and then he got me a oculas go. it last a hour. then when i lost my mum and a few months before i lost my mum my husband had lost his step dad. so we were all greaving and all emotions these last 7 months have been worse on my husband. i have had to look after y husband deal with my emotiones and try to deal with helping my family and my sisster with my little neice and nephew. my niece and nephew and caffine and choclate have keep me going and then the three cats and the three that come to visit. their has been downs and with my cats and my nephew and niece its been ups to. i have lost loads of weight but i do need to lose more. i have not done a lot of wrighting reasatly but slowely i will get time to get back to finishing my book. as well as knitting the scarves for winter and croched the teddys for chrismas. things can only start looking up for now they cant get any worse than they have been.

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i am so boared yet to lazy to sort out the garden

i have a garden and it full of weeds and stingin neckals well i get little berrys that the birds enjoy eating from the stinging nettles bush. i have sheares but no gloves. how long would it take to cut at it. i said to my husband we could do it we have nothing to rush around for. he is still annoyed about what happened last night on the playstation he was up all night lisning to loud music. he came to bed at 5am and when i woke at 12am this afternoon he sleept till half two. and hes still angry. i wont a nice garden but i have zero money and i am lazy and dont know were to start. any ideas? i did my zen meditation but i still have a nagging headach. well i think i should take some asprin relax and then start cuting at the bush with my shears later when its cooled down a bit. whats the rush. i dont need to rush around for nothing at all. problem is if i could click my fingers and get it done ina instante i would be the happyest person on the planet. why ow why does it take so long to get things done. why is it i do nothing yet i fell as if i have run a marthan several times over without moving. cant seem to get to the reason why that is. does anyone know?

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so warm

extremly hot day. i woke at 12am and when i opened the door. the heat hit me. i had a shower and ppppppput my swimming costume on with a nice blue skirt and my nice new open toe shoes and a blue hairband in my hair. i called a taxi to take me to the shop. my cat gravy meawed at me she wonts the pool pumped up again she likes sitting next to it. keeps her cool. i went to the shop had to get cat food and washing powder to clean the clothes and i got harpic to freshen the toilet. as it was so hot i picked up sunscreen facter 50. i was waiting with my shopping for my taxi and their was a lady sitting on the bench with three dogs little ones. i said it must be hard keeping the dogs cool in this weather. she replayed yes we went dont the river so they had a paddle. then her friend came out of the shop and they said goodbye. i waited about 2 minutes and my taxi arrived. i got home put the shopping away turned on all fans in every room and gave my husband his milkshake i got him. so i got the extension for the electric pump and pumped the pool back up. i sat down as its too hot to be going back and for with buckets of water. i cant use my hose as the tap has not enough pressure in it. so i pumped up the pool but its emty. my husband does not wont me to have the pool so he wont help and he said his back is hurting him. its too hot to do anything i shall have some sausage rolls and maybe fill the pool when it gets cool later ready for tomorrow nowing my luck it will rain tomorroow lol haha.

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awwwww why does every one seem create issue when you have a headach

awww my head its so painfull i had to get this bloged. i have all night not been on the playstation i was finishing knitting a scarf and i did find on facebook a new way of making teddy bears. useing old socks it really look good to try. then my husband comes in shouting frietened the cat that was laying at my feet. he was blaming me because the person on playstation that took a joke the wrong way and had a go at me tld me i was a spaz and i should get a life. they blocked my husband playing the game and kept kicking him from the game and the people he had been playing with who he thought were his friends ditched him. so now he said hes ditching the playstasion because of this person. i had reported her twice. it is a little silly to take one thing so badly. but i guess we had are first trolls. not sure what to do about it? i have a headach i just cant really think right now. i shall let you now what happens tomorrow. night all xxxx

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my friday felling lol

hi peeps i have been in to town. i went to the shoe shop and i bought some flip flops for around the house and i got shoes that i would not usely buy and their suprisingly comftable i got open toes shoes but they were cheap and i can wear them with a nice skirt down the beach. i also got a pair of pumps. i got my husband his crisps he likes and then i sat on the bench by the bus stop. they are doing a bus with a open top to tour the town. i was at the bench and i facetimed my husband he was iin a tizz because he emtyd the bin and he said he had broken the bin lid. he was so upset. he said i need you home. i said that i was going to go on he free bus. he said i need you home the cats are wonting food and jac is dancing round my feet its annoying. i said just make yourself a sandwich and a drink i shall be home soon. so i needed a drink and the bakery was across the road i poped in got two ribena cartens and i got six finger buns. i went back to the bench and waited for the taxi. when the taxi came i got home and my husband had loud music on the tv and i sorted the bin it had just pop of the hinge i clicked it back in and ushered the cats out and talked to my husband gave him his crisps and he lowered the volume and i just chatted made a joke and now hes on his playstation. i tryed to say its a nice dy we should take a picnic and take some drinks and crisps from the fridge make a ham rolls in a box and go relax at the beach for a hour. he said no i cant not ready to go that far that quick. hes not left the house in two yearshe scared to go out he tryes to take a walk every oother day but when you have no reason to leave the house why should you if your comftable at home and have everything you need indoors xxxx